There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
