Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
