Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
