How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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