I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize