I just saw a hot homeless man
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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