I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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