We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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