She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize