My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
