How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think my vagina is haunted
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
