If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize