i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
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I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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