Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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