I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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