i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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