We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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