we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
