She is in my trunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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