just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
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