If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
