hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
