I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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