Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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