Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
