I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
