Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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