Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
