Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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