Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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