he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
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my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
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I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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