I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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