Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
