Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
this will be a night to untag.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
