For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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