If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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