im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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