im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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