When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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