It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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