I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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