Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
