we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
