just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize