I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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