Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She bit a glass in half.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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