Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize