Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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