I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
