We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
