Soap is not a condiment
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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