Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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