its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize