WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
