Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
