I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
did i just pee glitter
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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