Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
this is an emotional support booty call
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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