Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
