I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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