we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
