drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize