we have pet lesbian snakes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
