I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
